In my life, even as a "young" woman, I have seen some of the greatest struggles one could imagine. I have had more heartache and trials than I ever care to say. Yet still I find that there are situations that others encounter, and I myself, may possibly encounter as well, that are so far beyond my comprehension. In those moments when you realize that you have no control over your circumstances, all you can do is pray for God's hand to shelter you and strengthen you for the journey.
Yesterday I received some heart breaking news that my step-father had passed away. At first I'm quite sure it didn't register in my mind and I am positive it didn't in my heart. As the day went on, my mind began to replay the memories of his presence in my life. Although he had missed a lot in the last few years, he was very present in a critical time in my life. When my dad passed away in a terrible car accident when I was only 16, I was devastated. My step-dad was there though; with an angry, hurt little girl making every mistake a teeneager could make. He was at my high school graduation- cheering me on as I walked across the stage in front of thousands of people, trying to get me to strike a pose for a picture, as I passed him by. My mind raced on to remember his loving words when he came into the dressing room to see me in my long, full, white wedding gown. I clearly remember him walking me down the aisle saying, "You better go get your man." I remembered the look on his face as he held his first grandchild in his arms, with all the love in the world swirling in that room. Those were good days- things I will never forget.
Needless to say, yesterday was a rough day! I was happy, angry, somber, confused and sorrowful- all in the same day. I couldn't wrap my brain around how God would allow one family to go through so much strife and pain. My self-pity got a tight grip on my heart and it wouldn't let go. I went to bed with my heart, my soul in turmoil.
When I awoke this morning, I had a strange sense of peace. As I sat down at the kitchen counter with the sun peeking through the window, Jesus gave me the sweetest reminder through the book, Jesus Calling", by Sarah Young. It said, " Do not long for the absence of problems in your life. That is an unrealistic goal, since in this world you will have trouble. You have an eternity of problem-free living reserved for you in heaven. Rejoice in that inheritance, which no one can take away from you, but do not seek heaven on earth."
Oh, be still, my heart! I, too easily, have forgotten that my Father's ways are above my ways. His plans mightier than any I could conjure up in my mind. His peace more powerful, His love more radiant than anything else I will ever experience. In Him we find refuge. In Him there is rest. In Him we are made strong and made whole. In Him we find perfect peace and renewed joy.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds. - James 1:2
So today, I will rejoice in Jesus! I will be reminded that I do not need to have all the answers. I do not have to see God's entire plan. He will give me enough light for the step I'm on. I will rejoice in knowing that my loved ones are at the feet of Jesus. Today I will put my hope in the Lord, knowing that one day my faith will be made sight and I will experience the fullness of Jesus and also be in His midst and at His feet. Today I will worship my Heavenly Father for all He is. I will rejoice in knowing that He has covered my lacks and all my sin with the blood of His perfect son. His grace is sufficient, His love is ever present.
I wait for The Lord, my soul waits, and in his Word I put my hope.- Pslam 130:5
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Romans 8:38-39
