I Want To Love Like That

Have you ever been somewhere and out of the corner of your eye you saw a couple lovingly holding hands, gazing at each other with the sweetest expression and looking like the happiest people in the world, only to think, "Why don't my husband and I have that anymore?" I have- many times in fact. Several times while watching movies, a romantic scene would make me swoon and I would hit my husband and give him the evil eye to let him know I disapproved of his lack thereof. Any romantic gesture seen in the media was reason enough for dissension between me and husband, or so I believed at the time.

But as I began to seek more biblical answers about the truth of real love, those feelings began to fade and became replaced by thankfulness for the man and love that God had blessed me with. I realized that there is a difference between love and infatuation. Infatuation by definition is an extravagant, short-lived passion or attraction. Usually it is accompanied with butterflies in your stomach, goo-goo eyes for the other person, waiting countless hours on their call and so on. But real love, the kind we desire deep within our hearts to have, is so much more.

 

1. Real love is an action not just a feeling. It promises to show love to your spouse regardless of whether you feel "in love" or not. That flowery feeling of love tends to fluctuate with the presence of stress, lack of sleep, poor health, financial issues along with numerous other factors. Real love, however, is constant and sure. You love when you feel it and when you don't.

2. Real love commits to working through conflicts instead of giving up. When we get married we vow to take our spouse for better or worse. No one ever says, "Except when he/she screws up!" or "Except when I don't feel lavishly in love anymore." For better or worse is all encompassing because I believe Jesus calls us to a marriage of love, grace and forgiveness.
 
3. Real love is patient. It accepts that your spouse is a fallible, sinful and imperfect being, just as you are and it allows for you to be patient with their weaknesses.
 
4. Real love is not self-seeking. Real love isn't about what your spouse can do for you but rather what you can do to better serve and love your spouse.
 
5. Real love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:7) Wow, "ALL THINGS", couldn't have said it better myself! Real love leads me to the cross!
 

 

When I think of these things, I think of areas where I can and need to become a better wife. I see my lack and want to do better in giving him my love. I know that God can give me the wisdom and strength to do it. Don't get me wrong, I love to receive my husbands love and affection! I delight in the days when he has filled my love tank to overflowing. On those days, in particular, it is most assuredly easier to serve him. But, real love isn't about me getting but about me giving. If more husbands and wives could learn to love selflessly, I believe, divorce would not be as prevalent in our society as it is today. God's Word gives us more than a sufficient amount of examples of what real authentic love should look like, if we would only take the time to seek it out. His Word is a love story from beginning to end- one filled to the brim with real love. All fairytales, romantic novels and movies aside, when I read of Jesus' unfailing, everlasting, unconditional REAL LOVE, my soul cries out " I want to love like that!"